College Transition
By Kathleen Olson, Extension Educator, Family Relations
June 02, 2009
Parents of high school graduates who will be college freshmen in
the fall may be already worrying how they can help prepare their
student, especially since parenting a college student is not what
it used to be.
For today's college students, the world is different. Students are
not always able to earn enough at a summer job or part-time college
job to keep up with expenses. With e-mail and cell phones, most
students are in touch with family members multiple times a week.
You will probably be more involved in your college student's life
than your parents were with you if you attended college.
Students should know some basic life skills before heading off to
college. If you haven't taken time to teach your child some basic
skills during their growing up years, use the summer months to work
on this. How to do laundry, mending clothes, managing a debit or
credit card, basic cleaning, cooking and food safety are all
helpful skills to know.
Also explain how the family's health insurance works, what to do if
they get sick and how to manage financial aid or loans. You may
want to set up a specific time to have a discussion with your child
on these topics.
You have probably talked with your child in the past about your
expectations related to partying, chemical use, sex, academic
achievement and other issues related to personal responsibility and
safety. If not, start these conversations now. They will remember
these conversations and your values even if they may sometimes make
other choices.
As your student begins college, you must trust your child to make
good decisions. Whether students are living on campus or at home,
they will face new challenges, enjoy new experiences and
increasingly take steps toward independence. You can be assured
that the lessons you've taught and the standards and values that
you've set for the past 18 years will have an impact on the choices
he or she makes. Students do consider their parents' values, even
as they test their limits and take new risks.
Parents should be available to provide support and be a sounding
board for their child, not to solve the problem for them. Your role
is to listen, to understand that your student is concerned and to
provide encouragement and advice. Visit your student's college
website for specific resources and support available on their
campus and attend parent orientation sessions if they are
available.
You have only a few more weeks to pass along advice and help to
your child while they are in your home. But remember, your
continued communication and encouragement is important throughout
the college years.
Kathleen Olson has spent her career focusing on parenting issues
and believes that most issues we face in life go back to parenting.
She is an Extension Educator in Family Relations for the University
of Minnesota and has two children of her own.
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